***Marks Sparks***

Mrs. Marks’ Sparks are ideas I have picked up along the way by experience, my reading, and conversations with others that I feel are important to share in my Presentations. They are not necessarily original to me. Mrs. Marks’ Sparks may be ideas/thoughts/beliefs/ opinions/values for us to think about. I hope some resonate with you. It may also be relevant information that I want to pass on. That is how I acquired my email and website name.

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Parenting Articles

Here are various articles on different topics relating to Parenting that may be helpful to you. I have shared the information on how to access the article and at the beginning one item that spoke to me in quotation marks. I hope these “teases” will tempt you to look at the articles and that they may speak/resonate to you and your children.

Please also check out Miscellaneous Pebbles #2 January 5, 2017 for more information.

“A very moving and inspiring The Talk is about expressing oneself.” Sarah Kay: If I Should Have a Daughter TED 2011, March 11, 2011 http://www.ted.com/talks/sarah_kay_if_i_should_have_a_daughter?awesm=on.ted.com_sarahkay&utm_content=awesm-bookmarklet&utm_medium=on.ted.com-static&utm_source=facebook.com

“The creation of playdates emerged as a practical scheduling tool at a time when more moms were entering in the workforce.” The 4 Cultural Shifts that Led To The Rise of the Helicopter Parent by Julie Lythcott-Haims, July 9, 2015 http://www.businessinsider.com/the-rise-of-the-helicopter-parent-2015-7

“It’s not the breaking that matters, the how or why. What matters is how we choose to respond to the broken-ness.” This Mother’s Soothing Reaction to Her Son’s Fit of Rage Can Teach Us All a Lesson in Parenting by Kathleen Fleming, February 4, 2016 http://en.newsner.com/this-mothers-soothing-reaction-to-her-sons-fit-of-rage-can-teach-us-all-a-lesson-in-parenting/about/family

“Your words are meaningful. or You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. or You can change the world.” 47 Empowering Phrases Your Child Should Be Hearing From You Daily by Alessia Santoro, March 2, 2016 http://www.popsugar.com/moms/Empowering-Things-Say-Your-Child-40411262

“You bring such joy to life. or Thank you for all the effort you put in. or What would I have done without your help?” 38 Empowering Things You Can Say to Build Your Child’s Confidence by Lauren Levy, May 2, 2016 https://www.msn.com/en-za/lifestyle/lifestylefamilyrelationships/38-empowering-things-you-can-say-to-build-your-childs-confidence/ss-AAij7UW

“But what would it be like if your kids just played? No activities, no schedule.” How I Slowed My Family Down. Like to the Last Century by Pam Lobley, May 11, 2016 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pam-lobley/how-i-slowed-my-family-down-like-to-the-last-century_b_9894620.html Pam Lobley is the author of Why Can’t We Just Play?: What I Did When I Realized My Kids Were Way Too Busy

“Acknowledge your child’s emotion and then suggest ways for him to calm himself down and move on, says Moyer.” Telling Your Kids To ‘Suck it Up’ Could Hurt them in the Long Run by Hilary Hagerman, June 28, 2016  https://www.yahoo.com/news/telling-your-kids-to-suck-it-up-could-hurt-them-181822203.html

“Parents should learn how to calm themselves and their children through a series of deep breathing techniques and mindfulness exercises. Putting them in front of the TV or a video may make them quiet and still but it does not make them calm.” Here’s Why American Kids Are Stressed Out by Naomi Schaefer Riley, July 30, 2016 http://nypost.com/2016/07/30/heres-why-american-kids-are-stressed-out/ Also talks about the book Self-Reg How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life by Dr. Stuart Shanker

“Highs (the best things that happened) and Lows (something they and you (but appropriate) would not like to deal with again or be in a situation they would like to do over: Share (you included)” Making Memories in the Car Line by Meagan Ruffling, August, 2016  http://toledoparent.com/feature/making-memories-in-the-car-line-2/

“Time With You.” The 1 Thing All Kids Want Most from Their Parents by Kate Schweitzer, October 9, 2016 http://www.popsugar.com/moms/1-Thing-All-Kids-Want-Most-40927600

“Tap into compassion.” Many Still Spank their Kids in the Heat of the Moment. Here’s How to Parent More Effectively by Kate Hurley, October 12, 2016 https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2016/10/12/remaining-calm-when-dealing-with-tantrums-is-a-skill-heres-how-to-get-it/?utm_term=.8d2764138945

“I advocate for a shift away from power and toward collaboration at the primary means by which parents influence kids.” Child Psychologist: This is How to Raise Human Beings Who are Ready for the Real World by Ross Green, October 12, 2016  https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2016/10/12/child-psychologist-this-is-how-to-raise-human-beings-who-are-ready-for-the-real-world/?utm_term=.07686d5032c8

        Lives in the Balance is a nonprofit organization (LivesintheBalance.org), which provides a vast array of free, Web-based resources on the model of care — now called Collaborative & Proactive Solutions.

Please see My Book, For Families, Parents, Grandparents, page 158 for more information about Dr. Greene.

“How can we work together to train and accommodate for the skills that this child lacks right now.” People Do Well If They Can, Kids Do Well If They Can by Janine Francolini, October 12, 2016 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/57fe2b2ee4b0210c1faea9ea?ref=yfp

“Switching off, doing nothing, and letting the mind wander can be great for children and adults.” What Happens When We Shield Kids From Boredom by Teresa Belton, October 13, 2016 http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/what_happens_when_we_shield_kids_from_boredom

“Do things herself, no matter how long it takes.” (there is a comic strip showing it took the entire day for the child to tie one shoe.) 6 Battles I’m Glad I Stopped Picking With My Toddler by Jennifer S. White, October 17, 2016 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/6-battles-im-glad-i-stopped-picking-with-my-toddler_us_580277bde4b0985f6d1571d7

“You are making priceless memories and awesome kids.” Dear Attachment Parents: You Aren’t Ruining Your Kids by Laura Hanby Hudgens, October 18, 2016  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laura-hanby-hudgens/to-the-attachment-parents_b_12509500.html

“As development psychologist Gordon Neufeld says, ‘Connect before you direct,” and even more important. ‘Connect for the sake of connection.’” Why Does My 4 Year old Insist on Doing Things at Such a Maddeningly Slow Pace? by Meghan Leahy, Washington Post, October 26, 2016 https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/on-parenting/my-daughter-deserves-a-trophy-for-how-astonishingly-slowly-she-does-everything/2016/10/25/c7779f32-96de-11e6-bc79-af1cd3d2984b_story.html?utm_term=.1e1cc9926c4c

“Buy them less and use it as an opportunity to teach them true happiness.” Counter-Parenting at Its Finest by Tanya Van Court, November 3, 2016 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tanya-van-court/counterparenting-at-its-f_b_12787164.html

“Moderation is a blessing in disguise. The child has to know that they’re loved and cared for, but at the same time, they have to know that there is an adult who will help them along their path in case they stumble.”  What You Need to Know to Raise An Emotionally Stable Child by Maia Megrian, November 3, 2016 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-you-need-to-know-to-raise-an-emotionally-stable_us_581b0d1de4b0cee6c6d13254

“I promise. or There’s no reason to be scared. or Don’t cry.”13 Things You Should Stop Saying to Your Kids Now by Leah Rockett, November 5, 2016 http://www.popsugar.com/moms/photo-gallery/36133545/image/36133553/Youre-fine

“Make sure you are being reasonable and realistic in what you expect your child to do. Take a deep breath and try to have empathy for your child’s emotional development before you react.” Parents, Some Reasonable Age-Appropriate Expectations For Your Young Kids by Laurie Levy, November 19, 2016  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laurie-levy/age-appropriate-expectations-for-young-kids_b_12969028.html  I have corresponded with this author of Terribly Strange And  Real: On Belonging, Loving, Evolving, Advocating, Musing, and Letting Go.

“They’re focused, driven, and passionate about whatever they’re working on, which makes it harder to just stop a project halfway through.” 10 Signs of a Strong-Willed Child and Why It’s Actually a Good Thing by Lauren Levy, November 20, 2016 http://www.popsugar.com/moms/Signs-You-Have-Strong-Willed-Child-39066488#photo-39066488

Some examples: “Watching you grow up is the best. or That was really brave. or  I forgive you. or We all make mistakes.” 66 Positive Things You Should Be Saying to your Child by Alessia Santoro, November 27, 2016 http://www.popsugar.com/moms/Positive-Things-Say-Your-Child-38418508?ref=yfp%20?

Some examples: “Write it out. or Journal your worries. or Give yourself a hug.” 37 Techniques to Calm an Anxious Child by Renee Jain, November 29, 2016 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/37-techniques-to-calm-an-anxious-child_us_5829fe2ee4b057e23e31481f?ref=yfp

“Encourage problem solving.” How to Build Resilience in Your Child by Anna Partridge, Positive Parenting with Anna Partridge  http://annapartridge.com/building-resilience-in-your-child/

Sharing Your Day:

“Try this, ask your child, “do you want to hear about my (the parent) day?” Want Your Kids to Tell you About Their Day? Instead of Asking Questions, Try This by Sara Ackerman, Washington Post, September 27, 2016 https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2016/09/27/want-your-kids-to-tell-you-about-their-day-instead-of-asking-questions-try-this/?utm_term=.fe6729afe3d0

Some examples: “Which person in your class is the exact opposite of you? or Did anyone push your buttons today? or If you had the chance to be the teacher tomorrow, what would you teach the class?” 30 questions to Ask You Kid Instead of “How Was Your Day Today?” by Sara Goldstein, November 7, 2016 http://www.parent.co/30-questions-to-ask-your-kid-instead-of-how-was-your-day/

Siblings:

“Give each child your undivided attention daily.” 6 Tips to Help Keep the Peace Between Siblings by Lola Augustine Brown, October 6, 2016 http://www.todaysparent.com/family/relationships/tips-to-help-keep-the-peace-between-siblings/

Check out My Book, For Families, Parents, Grandparents page 99 for more information about this.

“Using the work of early childhood educator, Magda Gerber whose work focuses on the importance of respecting and connecting with children, I stood back and observed and gave my children more opportunities to problem solve on their own.” 5 things that Happened When I Stopped Making my Kids Share by Amanda Elder, November 16, 2016  https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2016/11/16/5-things-that-happened-when-i-stopped-making-my-kids-share/?utm_term=.d53ead5ba16c

 

I will end this “Pebble” with two meaningful stories:

“In your careers you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say ‘Hello.’” The Cleaning Lady by Joanne C. Jones Inspiration Peak http://www.inspirationpeak.com/cgi-bin/stories.cgi?record=26

“Dad, how much do you make an hour?” Father-Son Conversation, Moral Stories http://www.moralstories.org/father-son-conversation/

Mrs. Marks’ Spark: I believe to help in the growth of a child, adults need to: really listen, acknowledge, (showing empathy and compassion) encourage children to find an interest, passion, hobby, collection they love, be around positive people, have alone time with individual children, etc.

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